Old Man Sues Government To Change His Age To Up His Tinder Game

As we get older, certain things become a little more important. Bodies get a little less resilient than they were in college. Now we’re thinking about things like if we’ve had our 2.5 cups of fruit and veggies today instead of devouring pizza and wings at three in the morning without consequence. Yep, we’re getting older and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. Or is there?

One guy in the Netherlands definitely thinks so. Emile Ratelband is a media personality who’s been in the midst of a controversial stunt that has grabbed a fair amount of attention. He filed a lawsuit against the Dutch government to have his age changed from 69 to 49. More specifically, he wants his legal birthday changed from March 11, 1949 to March 11, 1969.

Talk about a late-life crisis. Where he’s drawing the most controversy isn’t specifically the act of having his age changed, it’s that he’s compared it flippantly to being transgender. His nonchalant attitude has been widely regarded as transphobic.

?We live in a time when you can change your name and change your gender. Why can?t I decide my own age?? he asked.

Drawing the ire of the transgender community, they say he’s comparing the transitioning process and the associated psycho-social and biological processes to his inability to get Tinder dates with younger women. Which he kind of is.

?When I?m 69, I am limited. If I?m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work. When I?m on Tinder and it says I?m 69, I don?t get an answer. When I?m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position,? he said.

Veritably brushing off being transgender as a feeling, Radelband isn’t backing down from his absurd stunt. If attention is what he’s looking for, he’s certainly got a lot of it now. Ironically enough, all those women who aren’t swiping right on Tinder because of his age are going to know it anyway because the story is viral. Also, gramps, if you pay for Tinder you can hide your age. Or a gym membership costs an average of $58 every month. Go lift or something. Either option is cheaper than your legal fees, not to mention the brazen immaturity of this stunt.

A verdict on the court ruling is expected in the next month or so. He even offered to give up his pension if legally allowed to change his age. We’ll see what happens. One thing is certain: regardless of what age you feel, look, or want to be, maturity isn’t guaranteed.

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