Tag Archives: reptiles

Watch: Think You Got ‘Issues?’ This Woman Called 911 Because A Boa Constrictor Was Around Her Neck!

*Some people think they can just get away with anything, unscathed. Hey, everybody knows I just love animals. But with this story I realize even I have a limit. An Ohio woman called 911 (scroll down to listen) and told them to “Hurry!” because she had a “Boa constrictor stuck to my face!”

No sh*t. That’s what she said.

Now before we go any further I will admit: I was young and stupid once. I actually let someone place a boa constrictor (a friend’s pet) around my neck. His name was “Dylan” — you may have heard this story before, because its not the first time I’ve told it.

Matter of fact, I even baby-sat, er, snake-sat the 8-ft reptile while my friend ran errands. She kept him in one of those big glass cases you see in jewelry shops. Dylan was cool. Accustomed to being around people — this girl was an artist. And he was fast. I had always thought huge snakes were too heavy to be fast, but I was wrong!

No. The incident was NOT a fun thing like in this picture.

Dylan would glide around the perimeter of a room like nobody’s business. OMG and he was sneaky. He’d hide in drawers and shit, I’m told.

Years later, I guess Dylan outgrew being anybody’s pet and ended up biting my friend on the arm.

Like I said: I was young and stupid once. Wouldn’t do that today.

It was more like THIS!

But what’s this old dame’s excuse?

Even the 911 operator had to repeat the statement: “You have a boa constrictor on your face?” in that usual deadpan “what’s YOUR story” voice.

But still, you could hear the disbelief. Continue reading

Woman’s Pet Snake Gets Stuck in Her…WHAT? (Watch)


*You’ve seen those people, usually rockers, who have those super-huge holes in their earlobes, right? Personally, I think its disgusting; but its just that, a personal preference.

I mean, its so BIG. 

Which brings me to the incredible nature of this story. A woman in Portland, Ashley, was playing with her pet snake “Bart.” Actually she was trying to take a selfie with it. She was showing it off to the camera and everything. Then the most ridiculous thing happened…

The snake slithered into that big gaping hole in her ear…AND GOT STUCK! Continue reading

Holy Crap! Massive Alligator Just Walks on By as Woman Videotapes (Look!)

alligator, huge

*La dee dah. Imagine you’re just walking along, looking up and all around you, being thankful. And then you stop in your tracks just as a massive-sized alligator crosses your path, “Oh excuse me, I’m just going over here” he seems to say as he strolls on by. This was a moment in the life of a woman visiting Circle B Bar Reserve near Lakeland, Florida. She described the video she took of a 12-foot, possibly 800 pound alligator who strolled across the path she was walking on “very exciting.”

Yes she was is the answer to the question I know crossed your mind just now.

The woman, who took the video over the weekend appears to be standing too close for comfort, but she said she was “close enough” but at a safe distance. Continue reading

‘I Love You More’ Croc Best Buddies with Fisherman Who Helped Him (Pictures)

Poncho kisses the man who helped heal him
Poncho kisses the man who helped heal him

*Just in case you think you might be seeing things as you look at the photo above. You kind of are. You are seeing a crocodile named ‘Poncho’ kissing a man named Chito Shedden, a fisherman who saw him injured and alone, and rounded up a group of brave friends to lift the croc and take him to safety.

The reptile reportedly lay dying on a river bank in Siquirres, Costa Rica when the fisherman spotted him. Snedden, a tour guide by trade, kind of fancies himself as an amateur naturalist and as such has learned a few things.

Obviously, how to wrangle in a crocodile without being eaten alive is one! Continue reading

Update: Body of Disney Toddler Found ‘Intact,’ Family Identified, Autopsy Planned

Disney Resort

*Although this is in no way good news, we can only hope that it will serve to provide some level of closure for Matt and Melissa Graves; whose 2-year-old son, Lane , was fatally attacked by an alligator while the family vacationed at Disney’s Seven Seas Lagoon Resort in Orlando, Florida, this week. The family hails from Elkorn, Nebraska.

According to Sheriff Jerry Demings, the body of the child was found ‘completely intact.’

Melissa Graves and her son, Matt.
We send our love and prayers to Matt and Melissa Graves, here with her late son, Matt.

While talking to the media outside of the Disney location in Orlando, sheriff Demings fielded questions from the media. One reporter asked the sheriff if the child had been doing something he should not have been doing and the sheriff responded, “I don’t believe this child was doing anything that any other 2-year-old wouldn’t do.”

Demings said the child was in a playpen near the water.

Nick Wiley, the executive director of the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservative Commission was asked what will be done moving forward. He responded that they will take precautions to ensure “this will not happen again.” Continue reading

Da-YUM! Man Snaps Photo of Huge Lizard Climbing His Wall!!!



*Well, the alligator pictured above at the door was just to get your attention. And though its some scary stuff I will save commentary on for another day, I didn’t want to show you the HUGE lizard climbing the wall right out da gate! I’ve got to set it up for you first. Apparently, Florida is not the only place that has an overflow of reptiles running wild and showing up at the weirdest times and places. And if the Aussie man hadn’t snapped a photo of a giant lizard climbing his wall (scroll down) and then shared the photo on Facebook and followed up in an interview with The Sydney Morning HeraldI’m not so sure I would’ve believed it.

All I can say is DaYUM! Look at the size of that sucka!

The man told the SMH that he was in his shed when he heard a weird noise outside. He came out just in time to see a giant lizard scurrying across his yard. He was like Holy Sh*t…(words from my overactive mind, not his lips) or something to that effect. He then went back to his business in the shed.

But then he heard a louder sound against his house and went to investigate.

THIS is what he saw climbing on the wall of his home (shown below!)


What I want to know is, where in the HELL was it trying to go?

Dude says the louder sound he heard was the tail of this thing banging against the drain pipe. And he told the SMH that in all of the 18 years he has lived there, he had never seen anything like this!

Is it any surprise that the photo went viral on social media?

According to the SMH,  the lizard is a Lace monitor, aka Lace goanna and it can grow up to 7 feet and weigh up to 45 pounds. This particular species is 5 feet long.

I’ll bet whoever came out to capture this sucka has got a story to tell, too! And did they put it back in its natural habitat (where the hell is that? What lake is safe for a row boat with something like THAT roaming around in it?)

Lawd have mercy.



Python Dies After Eating A Porcupine…Whole! (Pictures)

THIS is an image of the porcupine eaten by the python.
THIS is an image of the porcupine eaten by the python.

*Holy freakin’ crap. This stuff fascinates the heck out of me so I apologize in advance if you’re repulsed. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a lover of snakes or anything, but when I heard that a biker was riding near the Lake Eland Game Reserve in South Africa, and came across a dead python who had obviously consumed an animal so big it killed him, I was like WTF…Let me see.

Then I saw it…in detail. 

Wanna see?

I’ll take that as a yes.

Let me just say that as an animal lover I was sad for the snake and its prey. I mean dang. But this is what they do. Yet at the same time I was cursing the snake like, “You stupid! Couldn’t you feel halfway down, when it was not too late to regurgitate, that this may not have been the smartest move?”

Anyway, too late for all of that now. Just think of this as nature at its most raw. Besides, most of you have already become desensitized from all the grossness you’ve watched on the internet. So this is like another episode of “National Geographic” or “Animal Kingdom.”

Either way. It’s fascinating and I hope you scroll down and check it out.

Ready. Set. Go! Continue reading

PA. Man Brought His Boa…Yes Snake, On Bus…And Of Course It Got Loose

SEPTA bus, snake gets loose

*I mean, c’mon. It would make too much sense for a person bringing a darn snake on a city bus to just ride along without incident, get to his destination, and get off with the snake.

Without drama?

And without any relationship to reality, either. Because that’s not how it happened.

According to officials, a 4-foot-long boa constrictor got loose on a Philadelphia bus, and the bus had to be evacuated!

The snake’s owner, 26-year-old Koron Riley, told the Philadelphia Inquirer that he had sneaked the snake on the bus by draping it around his shoulders and hiding it under his jacket.

Fool must’ve gone into a deep nod or something. He didn’t feel that thing leaving from around his shoulders? I once let an 8-foot boa constrictor sit on my shoulders, and I felt it when it moved.   Continue reading