Category Archives: Jokey Jokes

Ugh! Crazed Woman, Pissed at Cops, Pisses and Poops in Patrol Car

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*A woman who was chased, caught and arrested after store employees called the cops claiming she stole three beers, was so mad she decided to lose her nature while in the back of a patrol car.

Ugh. Say it with me, UGH!!!  

This time I am standing with the cops! A 7-Eleven employee in Hollywood, Florida made the call because Arlene Mena  had stolen three Yuengling beers, according to police. But when Mena saw the officer coming, she ran. The cop did notice she had a small dog in her arms. But then she fell and upon getting up, through the poor animal into oncoming traffic.

Fortunately for the dog, an officer dodged cars and was nearly hit several times, before catching the animal, unharmed. Continue reading

This 7-Time Lottery Winner (He’s Real, Y’all) Shows Us How to Win Too!

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*Be warned. For the most part, I’m going to shut up and allow YOU to watch the videos. They’re self explanatory. I have not won a lottery even once. At least nothing worth mentioning. Well wait, there was that one time when I bought a scratch off and every number I picked was a winning one.

But it only amounted to $50 total.

This man named Richard Lustig has won the lottery, including scratch offs, SEVEN FREAKIN’ TIMES. He has been all over TV. He’s on Wikipedia. And of course, his strategy is considered controversial.

But who cares, that’s what the “experts” call anything they can’t figure out, yes?

Over a 17 year period and 7 Jackpots later, Richard Lustig has won over $1,052,205.58.

The only tip I will share from Mr. Lustig is NEVER BUY QUICK PICKS.

OK wait. I’ll share one more from him. But then you will need to watch BOTH videos to learn more.

Mr. Lustig says, don’t buy different multiple tickets. For example, don’t go to the counter and say: Gimme two of those and one of those. INSTEAD, if you are going to buy say, 10 tickets, choose 10 of the same kind.

Hey, I was taught early to only seek advice from those who have proven their method. After all, you wouldn’t ask for financial advice from a poor person would you? Continue reading

L. A. Homeless Man’s Stylish ‘New Digs’ Is Quite the Attention-Getter (Watch)

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*Homelessness is no joke. For many, it will only take a few missed paychecks before they start giving that street corner the side eye. In essence, it can happen to anyone, And it always amazes me how shocked tourists are to see so many people living on the streets of Los Angeles. It’s like its the first time they’ve ever seen homeless people, and I know that many of them come from countries where poverty and injustice reign. But they come to L.A. and seem surprised. After all, Hollywood is here. But there is one old school hipster living under L. A.’s 110 Freeway that may totally confuse them. You won’t find him sleeping under any cardboard box. There are no ragged pieces of material making up his doorway.

Nun-uh.

He has dusted off the cliche I may be down, but I’m not out and breathed new life into it. The gentleman is 59-year-old Ceola Waddell, Jr. and he has been building his ‘Paradise’ for the past six months.

Would you like to take a tour? Scroll down. Continue reading

4 Videos You’ve Just GOT to See!

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*Here is four inspiring videos of amazing, cute and adorable incidents that will warm your heart, put a smile on your face, and help you to not feel so bad about being at work (Of course work must not be SO bad. You’re taking a break to watch this…Heh. Heh. Heh).

Tina Levy is a mother of 5 children. She put her 11-month-old child on the changing table and turned her back for a second. In that brief time, the baby falls — more than 4-feet — off the table. But watch what happens just before he hits the ground.

Continue reading

Man Changes Name To iPhone 7 to Win New Device

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*A man has legally changed his name to iPhone 7 in order to win a new iPhone.

The former Olexander Turin, 20, of Ukraine met a challenge extended by an electronics store: the first five people to change their names to “iPhone 7” would receive a free device.  The former Mr. Turin was first to do so.  His new name is iPhone Sim.  (“Sim” means “seven” in Ukrainian.)

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Meet iPhone 7

It was certainly a financial coup for the Sim:  a brand new iPhone 7 starts at the equivalent of $850 US in Ukraine, while the name change set him back the equivalent of just $2!

Sim says he may change his name back to his birth name when he has children. Continue reading

Woman Convinces 20 ‘Boyfriends’ to Buy Her An iPhone 7, Then Sells Them to Buy A House

 

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*A woman in China convinced 20 men to buy her an iPhone 7, then she resold the phones and used the money to put a down payment on a house. Hey, you can call her crazy, but I call her resourceful. OK, forget the fact that she actually knows 20 men she can call ‘boyfriend’. Or even the fact that she convinced each one of them to shelve out hundreds of dollars for her iPhone. Would it EVER have crossed your mind to do something like this to secure a new home?

I didn’t think so.

People on social media don’t know what to think. Some have offered praise to the woman, while others are less complimentary.

According to BBC.com, a hashtag that once translated means ’20 mobiles for a house’ started circulating like crazy on Weibo, and soon became the country’s top trend. It has now been used in excess of 13 million times.

Many social media users, like ‘small sand is growing’, have expressed admiration for Xiaoli, the name by which the woman was dubbed by Chinese media,

“I can’t even find one boyfriend. She can actually find 20 boyfriends at the same time and even get them to buy her an iPhone 7. Just want to ask her to teach me such skills.”

That’s what I’m thinking. Continue reading

How Much Halloween Candy Can You Eat Before You OD?

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*If you’re like me, you’re in the middle of a serious Halloween candy detox.  As I got ready to head to the gym today to TRY to undo some of the damage done to my cardiovascular system, I wondered (as I deftly opened yet ANOTHER Milky Way Dark) just how many of those “Fun Size” puppies would I have to eat before I wound up in that great candy shop in the sky.

The American Chemical Society has come through with the digits.

Based on what’s called the “LD50” for sucrose, or the amount that when consumed would kill at least half of a sample of test animals, the data show that the average 180 pound human would have to gorge on over 5.4 pounds of sugar to have a 50/50 chance of croaking.

That’s the equivalent of 262 “Fun Size” candy bars, or 1,627 individual pieces of candy corn.   Continue reading

Freddy Kruger Snapped and Shot Five People at Halloween Party; Michael Myers Proposed Marriage

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*It looks like Freddy Kruger has gone off of the deep end, while Michael Myers appears to have turned into quite a softie.

Over the weekend, a San Antonio guy dressed as the main character in the Nightmare On Elm Street film franchise pulled out a gun at a Halloween party and shot five people.

Now, I’ll confess to having not seen any of the Nightmare films for fear of, well, having a nightmare!  But via still photos and water cooler chatter, I’ve deduced that ol’ Freddy used those razor-like fingers on his prey, and NOT a gun.

The dude in San Antonio must have seriously snapped.  I wish there had been a Wolverine at that party to protect the victims and show the shooter how its done. Continue reading