*Just file this under: Don’t hate the player hate the game. With ME being the player, as writer, – and the game being this less than pleasant story ‘K? You’ve seen those memes warning you about eating the potluck dish that came from “Sally’s” house, yes? Here’s one reason why they might actually be on to something. One feminist blogger has got social media in a viral dialogue for doing just about the nastiest thing imaginable with food. The blogger who calls herself Stavvers claims she baked sourdough bread using the discharge from her vaginal yeast infection.
Yeah, you go on and take a minute right here.
She revealed that lil’ ditty in her post, “I’m making sourdough with my vaginal yeast.“
What I want to know is, why do some people think shit like this is cute?
No really. I want to know.
Anyway, this chick said she thought of the idea when she woke up one morning and felt the familiar symptoms associated with the discharge.
In what she must have been scraping off and saving up for weeks (’cause baby if you got that much from one sitting, you are long overdue for a checkup), Stavvers claims she scooped the Candida yeast off her dildo and used it to bake sourdough bread. Continue reading
*Apparently Facebook is feeling all of the ex-lovers who no longer want to see a bunch of old memories taking up space in their new digs. After all, it took you long enough to get over him or her, so now that you have, why be forced to revisit pictures of the two of you in happier days…after the love is gone?
Facebook feels your pain and they have hooked you…us…up baby! They’ve installed break up tools by way of the DISlike button – so you and your ex-boo can make a clean getaway.
Bye Felix or Felicia…You ain’t got to go home but you’ve got to get the hell…well, you know where I’m going with that right?
“We’re starting to test these tools today in the U.S. on mobile, and we’ll make changes and roll them out further based on people’s feedback,” wrote Facebook Product Manager Kelly Winters in a blog post.
“This work is part of our ongoing effort to develop resources for people who may be going through difficult moments in their lives … We hope these tools will help people end relationships on Facebook with greater ease, comfort and sense of control.”
I can see all the cowards now (and I’m not necessarily counting myself out!). Palms just itching at the prospect of never having to be talked out of a relationship you both know is doomed because now, you don’t have to break the news face-to-face). Continue reading
*For those who ask: Is there anything we won’t talk about? The answer is apparently, “No.” It seems nothing is sacred in this new day and age; so all bets are off when it comes to having even a modicum of common decency. So why not have a little fun with something no one can escape: the truth about the smelly after-effects of… there’s no easy way to say this, pooping.
Or should I say, what the after-effects could be…
You’ve seen those commercials where the British lady is speaking so eloquently about the smelly after-affects of going to the Loo. She shares how we “… would not believe the mother-load I just dropped!” and reminds us that there is nothing worse than stinking up the shared toilet at work; or the toilet at a party, or the one at your lover’s apartment.
True. There is little worse than that.
Now there’s another new ad about disguising that smelly substance we call poop. And it involves spritzing.
That same British lady, whose name is Bethany Woodruff (she’s from Scotland) and resides in Utah, must be on her way to a million bucks by now. Her newest poo-pourri commercial begins…
“My butt trumpet is about to blow!” Continue reading
*This is a picture of the Yanguan or Father Stone at Mount Danxia in Shaoguan, China. But the questions I want to ask you, my darlings, is what did you think it was.
Exactly. I’d say nature is quite the architect!
Remember: there are no ‘accidents’ and nary a mistake.
And would you believe there’s more? Yep! All around the globe.
And with names like “Turkey’s Love Valley,” “Mollie’s Nipple,” and “Dual Breast Mountain” you will be forced to explore further.
So allow me to provide you with a head start.
Let’s take a peek inside the Yinyuan hole. Continue reading
*Holiday legend claims that if you make the “naughty” list at Christmastime, you get a lump of coal in your stocking. Well, Shitexpress has taken that time-worn threat to a whole new level!
That’s right, boys and girls. Now YOU can ship a healthy pile of feces, from a variety of animals, to anyone on your list. (I’d have said “shit list”, but that fruit was hanging too low even for me.)
No, I’ve not been drinking (yet…today).
“Yes, it’s legit,” Shitexpress CEO Peter (no last name…I wonder why?) said.
The service is based in Hong Kong and launched a year ago, as a marketing experiment. Peter says the company earned $10,000 in its first month. At $16.95 per shipment, that’s almost 600 boxes of poop in one month. The company says they’ve made more than 2,500 shipments to-date. Continue reading
*Now this may not be the answer to everything when it comes to policing the neighborhood. But you’ve got to admit, when it comes to healing the tense relationship between police and the black community, its a welcomed start.
A D.C. officer approached two groups of teens and tried to diffuse what looked like a threatening situation about to occur. One of the teens, 17-year-old Aaliyah Taylor, walked up to the officer and began playing “Watch Me (Whip Nae/Nae)” on her phone and started dancing the Nae Nae dance.
A less experienced officer would have the teen on the ground already — choke-holed and handcuffed.
You feel me?
But this officer actually used her head first, and tried a new tactic. She looked at the teen doing the Nae-Nae and said, “That’s all you got?” and proceeded to make her own moves.
It worked. And got her some big props in the end. Continue reading
*I mean, c’mon. It would make too much sense for a person bringing a darn snake on a city bus to just ride along without incident, get to his destination, and get off with the snake.
And without any relationship to reality, either. Because that’s not how it happened.
According to officials, a 4-foot-long boa constrictor got loose on a Philadelphia bus, and the bus had to be evacuated!
The snake’s owner, 26-year-old Koron Riley, told the Philadelphia Inquirer that he had sneaked the snake on the bus by draping it around his shoulders and hiding it under his jacket.
Fool must’ve gone into a deep nod or something. He didn’t feel that thing leaving from around his shoulders? I once let an 8-foot boa constrictor sit on my shoulders, and I felt it when it moved. Continue reading
*So its just you and Bae, finally. The kids are over at Nana’s house. Y’all have the entire evening planned. A cocktail first, then dinner and dessert, then, stuffed to the gills, stretch out on the couch just long enough to watch ‘Empire.’
Then get to the good stuff.
So first things first. Bae asks, “Whatchu want for dinner, boo? You say Salmon, asparagus, and some mashed potatoes. Then ice cream, Rocky Road.
Wow! Dinner didn’t take long to whip up at all! And the fish looks fresh.
“Wait! Bae, did you see that. That mofo’s fin just moved!” Continue reading