Freddy Kruger Snapped and Shot Five People at Halloween Party; Michael Myers Proposed Marriage

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*It looks like Freddy Kruger has gone off of the deep end, while Michael Myers appears to have turned into quite a softie.

Over the weekend, a San Antonio guy dressed as the main character in the Nightmare On Elm Street film franchise pulled out a gun at a Halloween party and shot five people.

Now, I’ll confess to having not seen any of the Nightmare films for fear of, well, having a nightmare!  But via still photos and water cooler chatter, I’ve deduced that ol’ Freddy used those razor-like fingers on his prey, and NOT a gun.

The dude in San Antonio must have seriously snapped.  I wish there had been a Wolverine at that party to protect the victims and show the shooter how its done.

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Thankfully, all of Freddy’s victims survived, having been treated at a local hospital and released.  But police say the shooter is still at large.  Details are scarce and vary across other media outlets, but (shockingly!) police believe alcohol played a role in the shooting.

Freddy should chill like Michael Myers appears to have.  Last year, “Michael” (or Alec Wells under the mask and overalls) patiently stalked his girlfriend Katherine Canipe, who’s a huge Halloween movie fan.

On the same LA street where a key scene from the original 1978 movie was filmed, “Michael Myers” popped out from behind a hedge, got down on one knee, and proposed.  

Canipe loved it, calling it a “perfect proposal,” having burst into tears before she accepted it.

I always knew Michael Myers was a softie.  There’s something about people named “Michael.” Just like Michael Jackson famously (and hilariously!) said:  “I’m a lover, not a fighter!”

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This blog was written by the lovable freelancer Michael P Coleman.  Connect with him on Twitter.

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