Man Charged With DUI Had Chastity Belt Attached To His Penis…Under His Skirt

Photo courtesy of Anderson County Sheriff's Office.
Photo courtesy of Anderson County Sheriff’s Office.

*Remember your mother telling you to make sure you have clean underwear on before you leave the house? (Don’t front. I’m not the only one whose mamma had to tell them that!) Well, mom’s advice was good but a tad incomplete.

Let me add to it: make sure you leave your chastity belt at home.

Curtis Scott Eidman, 35, from Tennessee didn’t get that memo. He was stopped during a sobriety checkpoint outside Knoxville while wearing a “white skirt, white leggings with pink stripes and black high heels,” with a ribbon around his goatee, according to reports.

His female passenger —

see?  You went there, didn’t you?  You heard me: FEMALE passenger!  

was described as “visibly intoxicated.” He told officers he’d had four or five shots of liquor, and that he had a pistol in the center console of his car.

Eidman’s doesn’t sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, but if he’d have been black, he’d have been shot right there, black hoodie or not.

But wait! Believe it or not, it gets better.

All of that was enough to have the officer administer a sobriety test, which he failed. After he was in custody, he revealed to officers the crown jewel of his ensemble: a chastity device attached to his crown jewels. 

He had one of the keys on his key chain; the other was on a necklace around Alexander’s neck.

Eidam was charged with driving and possessing a weapon while intoxicated. He was released on a $6,500 bail.

Now, for my questions. You KNOW I’ve got a few!

I’ve never been taken in on a DUI, but unless Eidman was strip searched, why did he “reveal” his chastity device to officers?

What color was the ribbon in Eidam’s goatee? Was is color coordinated with his skirt and heels?

And finally…

Do male chastity devices come in sizes, and if so, where can I order an XL?

Don’t worry. You’ll never catch me driving with my dick all locked up, let alone driving DRUNK in it…or driving drunk at all!

I love my Tennessee people, but if this isn’t some crazy “Duck Dynasty” shit, I don’t know what is!


This blog was written by freelancer Michael P Coleman, as he wiped tears out of his eyes laughing.  Follow him on Twitter.  

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