Kangaroo Bounds On Bikers, Breaking Breasts

Port Campbell, Victoria, Australia, Great Ocean Road, Australasia
Port Campbell, Victoria, Australia, Great Ocean Road, Australasia

*I’m on doctor’s orders to engage in more cardio, in my effort to avoid the hypertension-induced premature deaths of many of my family members.  (How’s THAT for a cheery start to your weekend?)

Swimming and biking are my exercises of choice, but I may need to rethink the latter — at least, if I plan to do it in Australia.

Sharon Heinrich and Helen Salter were riding along a scenic trail in Southern Australian when they stopped to look at a beautiful kangaroo.   Before they could grab their iPhones and snap a pic, the marsupial jumped onto Heinrich’s torso and bounced off of it onto Salter’s back, knocking them both off of their bikes.  The beast then bounced away.

“I saw him and thought ‘Oh, isn’t he cute’ — then he was on top of me,” Heinrich said.

Sounds like a typical Saturday night for me.

Salter managed to get back on Heinrich’s bike — her own was too damaged in the bounce-by — and got help, and the two were rushed to the hospital.  Salter was treated for whiplash and a concussion, while Heinrich received care for three cracked ribs, scratches, and burst breast implants.

“They worked as air bags and have been ruptured by the ordeal” she said.  She’ll have to undergo additional surgeries later this week.

Now, the women have made it their mission to have more kangaroo warning signs on the trail.

And somewhere in Southern Australia, a ballsy kangaroo is telling his buddies about running into the broad with the big boobs.  “I KNEW they weren’t real!  I hit that and those jugs leaked all over the place!”


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