*A 44-year-old man with an eight-inch “bionic penis” lost his virginity recently — with a sex worker. Mohammed Abad lost his first penis almost 40 years ago, at the age of six in a freak accident.
Of the “session” with Charlotte Rose, Abad says “It was great. I’ve been waiting for this day since I was 18,” the security guard from Scotland said. “But now a big burden is off my back.”
Forget your back, Abad. After 44 years, it’s your balls that have been unburdened.
“When Charlotte saw it…” — IT — “…for the first time, she was silent and I was a bit worried,” Abad said. “But then she said: ‘It’s incredible.’ It’s nice to hear a lady say that.”
Charlotte hollered “It’s incredible.” Hush, HUSH sweet Charlotte!
You never forget your first “It’s incredible.” “It’s magnificent”, “Jesus!”, and the slow, methodical licking of the lips stick with a brutha, too.
“After it was over,” Abad continued, “I lay there with a big smile on my face.”
It sounds like Rose was smiling, too.
“He lasted for an hour and three quarters,” Charlotte squealed. “I was impressed.”
I wouldn’t mind getting caught up in Charlotte’s web one night.
Abad and Charlotte ran into trouble at first. Abad’s bionic penis, which is controlled by two tubes under the skin that inflate with saline, initially didn’t rise to the occasion.
“It was frustrating, but I’d already waited 20 years, so one more day didn’t hurt,” Abad shared.
With an eight-inch dick — bionic or not — you weren’t the one hurting, Abad.
Charlotte usually charges nearly $180 for her…sessions, but gave Abad a freebie. I like freebies. That way, I can take my money and spring for Popeye’s afterward.
“It was a real honor to be asked because your first time is a memory in your life you never forget,” Rose gushed. “I wanted to make sure there was no pressure for Mo. There was a lot of fun, smiles and giggles. The room got quite heated.”
I’m going to say it again: hush HUSH sweet Charlotte!
Abad is divorced — his first wife dumped him because he didn’t tell her about his bionic dick until their wedding night — but now that everything’s in working order, he wants to be a father.
“Doctors have been testing my sperm count and testosterone levels and everything is possible,” Abad confided. “A friend is helping me with dating because it’s all new to me. My confidence has been so low, but thanks to Charlotte I have a new spring in my step.”
C’mon, Abad. It’s not your “step” that’s springing after all of that. After all of…Charlotte.
Every man needs a “Charlotte” in his life: a ‘ho who’ll holla “It’s incredible” just before you lay pipe, waive her fee in appreciation, and join you for a three-piece spicy with slaw and a biscuit.
I wonder if Charlotte’s free this weekend?