*The war on Christmas rages on.
First, we had Starbucks customers taking the company to task because they ditched past seasons’ winter images like snowflakes and stuff on their customary red cups. Now, fans of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are complaining that the company’s seasonal “trees”, which hit stores just before Thanksgiving, don’t look like trees at all. They’re claiming (via social media, which is where you go to complain about things these days) that they look much more like “turds”.
Now there is really not a bigger Reese’s fan in the world than me. And I’m talking about my love of the product, not the size of my ass…but now that I think about it, there is a strong correlation. I think peanut butter should be its own food group, and in a world where one wonders, covering the gooey stuff in chocolate is a sign that there really, truly is a God. Hell, I even named one of my dogs Reeses.
But COME ON people!
Reese’s office Twitter account has been issuing the same reply to the bitchy tweets: “This is not the perfect experience we’re going for. Please send us a note so we can help,” directing users to Hershey’s “Contact Us” page.
A spokesperson for the Hershey Company (boy, I’d love THAT job!), Anna Lingeris, says the seasonal shapes (which include the offending trees as well as Halloween pumpkins and Easter eggs) are created differently than the standard-issue cups. They “have a higher ration of peanut butter to chocolate”, she said, adding that “these products are not solid chocolate made in moulds, which would have a more distinct shape. They are soft peanut butter centers that are enrobed in chocolate, a process which by its nature creates a less distinct shape.”
In the spirit of true investigative journalism, I grabbed a Reese’s Peanut Butter Tree at my neighborhood Target. I can now attest to its “less distinct shape”. However, since the entire f**king “tree” was down my throat in scant (scat?) seconds, I can also honestly state that they are dee-lish and I couldn’t care less what shape mine used to be!
Despite the social media haters and the “need-to-get-a-life”-ers, Lingeris said that seasonal shapes make up “more than a double digit percent of the Reese’s annual sales and are growing,” which more than suggests that most people agree with me: who CARES what they LOOK like??
Check one out for yourself, and let us know what YOU think.
This blog was written by freelancer Michael P Coleman, who looks for every excuse he can find to show off his “baby dogs”. Feel free to send him some Reese’s product (in any shape you like) for Christmas at PO Box 278901 Sacramento CA 95827. Or just tweet him — that would be just as sweet. (awwwww…)