*Dolly Parton famously said “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”
Parton PREACHED! No one has taken that statement to heart more than Cassandra, the transgender woman who’s spent over $200,000 in her misguided effort to look like “Jessica Rabbit,” the animated female lead in the 1989 feature film Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
On a recent episode of the plastic surgery show “Botched”, Cassandra tells her doctors that she’s having trouble breathing out of her Michael Jackson-esque new nose. While she’s in for that snip snip, she tells them she wants to have her waistline redone, so that it more closely resembles Ms. Rabbit’s.
“The only thing I haven’t had done, she says, “is my heart.”
I’ll tell you what’s she needs to have done: girlfriend needs some serious brain surgery.
Dr. Terry Debrow and Dr. Paul Nassif are in awe of Cassandra, who calls herself a “cosmetic concoction.”
I call her a lunatic.
EUR was unable to reach Who Framed Roger Rabblt? director Robert Zemeckis for comment. However, we were able to reach Jessica Rabbit, and asked her about Cassandra and the alleged likeness.
“What the fuck is THAT?”, Ms. Rabbit exclaimed, breaking her rabbit habit of speaking in sultry tones that very closely mimic screen star Kathleen Turner‘s. “I’m not bad — I’m just drawn that way. But that is some bad ass plastic surgery!”
Jessica’s honey bunny, Roger, was equally shocked.
“There is n-n-n-n-nothing about her face that re-re-re-resembles my wife!”, he said. “I’ve g-g-g-got the real deal!”
This blog was wri-wri-written by freelance writer Michael P. Coleman. Co-co-co-connect with him at michaelpcoleman.com or on Twitter: @ColemanMichaelP