*Ladies, today’s question is: how’d you put your bra on this morning?
No, this isn’t a lesson at the Bill Cosby Acting & Modeling School. According to a recent article in Redbook, the method in which you put on your bra this morning reveals a lot about your personality.
I don’t remember how my ex-wife used to put hers on. Probably a sign of why she’s my ex-wife.
Having never worn a brassiere, and in the spirit of investigative journalism, I decided to dig a little deeper.
Do you slip right into yours and fasten it in the back? Or do you put it on backwards, fasten it in the front and rotate it? Maybe you wear front-clasping bras to make things a little easier. Or do you say “screw it” and pull a fastened bra over your head?
According to Patti Wood, a body language and human behavior expert and author of Snap: Making The Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma, the way you put your bra on reveals a lot about your personality. “There are four distinct personality types — drivers, influencers, supporters, and careful correctors — who tend to have very unique ways of doing things, even small tasks,” Wood says. “Everything you do — and the way you do it — comes together to form a story about yourself, and there’s no reason your undergarments shouldn’t be a part of that.”
In my mind, “supporters” and “careful correctors” could be SYNONYMS for “bras”. Furthermore, the only “story” that’s formed by how I pull on my boxer briefs in the morning is “The jewels need protection.” And having surveyed a few female and drag queen friends — don’t judge — I’m told bra wearers put on their bra in the way that their mother or someone else taught them.
But again, I’m not an expert, let alone a “body language and human behavior expert” so let’s cut back to Wood. She says if you put on a back-clasping bra and clasp it behind you, you’re a supporter, which means you like to stick to tradition and tend to follow along with what you’ve been taught.
If you put a back-clasping bra on backwards, clasp it in the front and rotate it after it’s all closed up, you’re an influencer who likes to feel appreciated and supported.
If you favor front-clasping bras, you’re a driver who doesn’t waste time on anything, let along fumbling behind you to get your bra fastened.
If you pull a fastened bra over your head, you’e a careful corrector who likes to make sure things are done right.
I just remembered how the former Mrs. Coleman put her bra on: I did it for her. I wonder what that says about HER personality. Or mine.
So there you have it. And as I re-read this, it DOES sound like a class in that Bill Cosby Acting & Modeling School. Where are my Quaaludes?