*Look, y’all gotta give me a minute. And I promise to give you one.
OK?…Time is up. All together now…WTF???????
Texas drug dealer Ashley Castaneda, 31, was caught red-handed with 29.5 grams of meth and a scale in her purse during a routine traffic stop. But when officers posed that familiar question, “Is there anything else you have that we may have missed, ma’am?” It wasn’t the “Yes” that surprised them, so much as the “where.”
Now, let’s just visualize how the conversation went.
Male Officer: “Ma’am, we have located the contraband inside of your purse. Are you saying you also have a .22-caliber gun? We have checked all visible pockets and your purse. Where is this weapon that you say you have?”
Castaneda: It is inside of my vagina.
Male Officer: (Coughing as if he just swallowed a hot jalapeño). “Excuse me?”
Castaneda: (Growing more agitated with each descriptive word) The f**king thing is in my f**king pucha. My concha. My panocha, My papaya! Aye, you stupido! My VAGINA!!!
Male Officer: OK ma’am, calm down. If you will give us permission to search your…um…to do a search of the cavity in question, we’re gonna have to get a female officer out here. Just sit tight.
Castaneda: (Indignant!) I’m in the back seat of a squad car. Where I’m gonna go?
The officer radios for a female officer and she arrives within 10 minutes. She obviously knows what she is in for, as she approaches the car while putting on a pair of blue rubber gloves. She tells Castaneda to lay down on the back seat and allow her to pull her pants and underwear down.
You can pretty much guess what happens next.
True to form, the female officer did recover a fully loaded .22-caliber Smith and Wesson handgun from Castaneda’s vaginal cavity and placed the evidence in a clear plastic bag and took it to police headquarters, along with its owner.
USA Today reports the handgun had a round in the chamber and a full magazine clip.
I know we have a LOT of reasons to hate on the police right now. But it is this type of stuff that they go through, that we have to admit, is hard to believe.
A police spokesman recalls to the Waco Tribune-Herald, “People have asked us, ‘Why are you even telling us this?’ The reason is because we want people to know this truly does happen. That was an extremely dangerous situation for everyone involved.”
Now you know, with the revelation of my overactive imagination, there is more that I could say, but I won’t.
As you were.