*I’m a curious sort, as I suspect some of you might be too. That’s an admission on my part. But please don’t get it twisted. In the voice of one of our favorite comedic actors, Mr. Chris Tucker, I want you to know that I will NEVER, ever…ever…ever…evah attempt to satisfy that curiosity about the question posed in the headline by eating one of my species.
BUT…I did get a weird twinge knowing that others’ have and hearing their almost recipe-like descriptions. It’s a macabre thought I know, but now they want to share those answers with you.
Ain’t that nice?
Let ‘er rip! Oh…bad choice of words.
What with cannibalism being illegal and all, we only really have the unreliable testimonies of murderers and long-dead explorers to go on. Thanks to The Independent, some of the aforementioned types have actually left ‘tasting notes’ for us curious, albeit more cowardly, sorts:
“Man’s flesh is delicious, it tastes far better than fish or pork.”
– Alexander Pearce, an Irish convict notorious for cannibalizing his fellow prison escapees. He reportedly made these comments shortly before being hanged.
“I sauteed the steak of Bernd, with salt, pepper, garlic and nutmeg. I had it with Princess croquettes, Brussels sprouts and a green pepper sauce. The flesh tastes like pork, a little bit more bitter, stronger. It tastes quite good.”
– German cannibal Armin Meiwes during a 2007 TV interview.
“It melted in my mouth like raw tuna in a sushi restaurant.”
– Murderer Issei Sagawa, on taking a bite out of his victim.
“It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted… It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have.”
– William Seabrook, an explorer who ate a human rump steak on a trip to West Africa.
“It’s so sweet.”
– Egyptian model Omaima Nelson on her husband’s ribs.
“I only eat the parts with muscles, particularly thighs and calves, which are my favorite. I make a very tasty stew with the tongue and I use the eyes to make a nutritious and healthy soup.”
– Dorangel Vargas, known as the ‘Hannibal Lecter of the Andes’.
“The breasts of man…are the sweetest meat I ever tasted.”
– American prospector Alferd Packer, who was accused of cannibalism during the winter of 1873-1874.
So there it is. Straight from the mouths of well, cannibals. The general consensus, in the event anyone asks you and this story is not readily available, is that human flesh tastes somewhere in between veal and pork steaks. Or maybe you’d rather take the word of an NEC food-testing robot, whose response to a reporter who placed his hand against its taste sensor said, “prosciutto.”
From Wikipedia: “Prosciutto” is a dry-cured ham that is usually thinly sliced and served uncooked; this style is called prosciutto crudo in Italian and is distinguished from cooked ham, prosciutto cotto.