*Though I didn’t see the episode, I do recall the trailer. Iyanla sat on a porch with Jay Williams, a successful video producer in Atlanta, who had an armful of black baby dolls; which represented the 34 biological children Williams has fathered with 17 different women. The segment was powerful because after a very few moments of intense questioning and attempts at reasoning by Iyanla, you could see that Jay was getting frustrated and he eventually put the armful of dolls that Iyanla had him holding down. Iyanla asked him why he did this, and he responded something like, “because I’m tired of playing with the dolls.”
Now that could have very well been the end of the experiment for a less bodacious host. But not for Iyanla, who didn’t skip a beat when she picked the dolls up again and put them in Williams’ lap saying something to the effect of, “Too bad. Their mother doesn’t get that option.”
Now Iyanla brings together some of the “baby-mamas” to address man-sharing – which at one point she describes as “nasty.”
Five of the 17 women agree to speak with the life coach and you can tell they are nervous as they arrive one by one for the session. Iyanla quickly learns that several of the women (Chantau, Aisha and Charmaine) were pregnant at the same time, and two of the women, Nicole and Charmaine, were once best friends; until their involvement with Jay changed all that. Still, just about all of the women know each other.
Iyanla decides to cut right to the chase and give the women a very pointed analysis of their situation as she sees it.
“What all of you have been doing is man-sharing,” she tells the women. “What I’m looking at is nasty. I don’t mean ‘nasty’ in terms of physically. I mean energetically between women.”
Its not hard to determine that the energy between Nicole and Charmaine is especially nasty . Nicole, who has one child with Jay, says they were in a relationship when her former friend Charmaine also got involved with him (and gave birth to three of his children). Complicating matters, Nicole says that she’s been in an on-again-off-again relationship with Jay for more than 14 years — and is still currently having sex with him.
“I’m just disgusted with her voice, her look, just everything about her disgusts me,” Nicole says of Charmaine.
“But are you disgusted with yourself?” Iyanla asks Nicole.
“I was. I’m over it, though,” Nicole answers.
Iyanla disagrees. “You can’t be over your disgust with yourself if you’re still projecting that on her, baby,” she says. “Y’all were in the same place.”
Iyanla then asks the women if they have addressed Jay’s accountability and finally, she concludes that the women betrayed one another and “let a penis penetrate” their friendship.
Iyanla is also teaching a six-week eCourse on forgiveness. Learn more.