Pastor Uses ‘Boob Job’ Metaphor To Teach How Not To Ask Insensitive Questions About Adopted Kids

Pastor creates boob job rule
Jesse Butterworth, left, holds daughter Harper, with son Liam, wife Marisa, and son Finn


*You wouldn’t stare at a woman’s chest and ask “Where did you get those?” so you shouldn’t ask adoptive parents, “Where did you get her from?” says Jesse Butterworth,the lead pastor at Rain City Church in Bellevue, Washington who notes his daughter isn’t an accessory he picked up at a boutique.

So the question to ask instead is: Where is your daughter from?

“People are curious — that’s human nature and it’s natural to ask questions… so we were thinking, what’s a way that we could help people just put language around it?”

Butterworth and his wife felt it was time to address some of the insensitive questions total strangers have asked parents who have adopted children – especially those of an obviously different culture; like his adopted daughter Harper, so he created a funny tutorial using boob jobs as a metaphor, and it has now gone viral.

Billed as “a public service announcement from adoptive families everywhere,” the video lists some of the actual comments people have said to Butterworth and his wife. The couple have  two biological sons; and adopted 2-year-old Harper, who was born in Ethiopia, nearly a year ago.

The video offers this unique metaphor in an attempt to keep things polite.

“If you wouldn’t say it about a boob job, then don’t say it about an adoptive family,” Butterworth instructs the audience.

Butterworth was inspired to create the tutorial after one of their first outings with Harper, to a restaurant where the waitress peppered the Butterworths with some of the inappropriate questions featured in the video.

“I really, really, really don’t think that people are trying to be mean” Butterworth told TODAY Moms.

Though he doesn’t remember exactly how the idea of breast augmentation came into the picture, it did fit the family’s mission to create something that was funny, while getting a positive message across.

After posting the video on Vimeo and YouTube, the response has been “totally mind-blowing,” Butterworth said. The clip has struck a chord with adoptive families, though a few commenters have asked why adoptive parents are so sensitive.

“The truth is, we’re not being sensitive for us. It doesn’t hurt my feelings — I’m trying to be incredibly protective of my daughter who doesn’t understand [the comments] yet. But at one point, she will and the last thing I want her to feel is that she is a lesser member of my family,” Butterworth said.

Thanks to Today for information used in this article.

Check out Butterworth’s funny, yet informativevideo directly below (and please people, make an effort to think before making insensitive comments!)

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