A lot of people are not going to like what I have to say, but let me start by saying this: I really don’t give a &*^%. These words come from a man who has seen too many black men grow up to become irresponsible, self-absorbed, excessively entitled, weak men, largely because they were coddled at home. This does not always happen at the hands of a single mother, but it almost always occurs due to parents who do not understand their role in raising intelligent and responsible human beings. Let’s be clear: If you raise your son to be a boy, he’s going to remain a boy. Typically, strong male role models make it easier to build manhood, mothers cannot usually do it alone.
This is a comedic exaggeration, but perhaps we can think while we laugh. Even if you get mad at me for saying this, you can’t pretend like this doesn’t happen a bit too much. Before we get into the tired diatribe about this being some kind of assault on single black mothers, understand that if I hate single black mothers, that means I hate my late grandmother. My own mother was a 17-year old single mom until she married my second father three years after I was born. And it was her commitment to raising me with more discipline than my male friends that guided me away from the same gutters, prison cells, and rehab clinics that many of them occupy to this day.
So, if you want your son to grow up to be a horrible father and husband for somebody else, here are a few things you can do:
1) Never make him accountable: If he goes to jail, mortgage your house to pay for the attorney. If he gets fired from his fourth job in a row, of course it’s because he’s black. Anything that goes wrong in his life, explain to him why none of it is ever his fault. Make a long list of excuses for everything he does. If he gets in trouble at school, it’s the teacher’s fault. If he has an angry outburst and attacks someone, it’s because he had too much sugar. Remember: Nothing that he ever does wrong, to anyone, at any time, is ever his fault. Jesus will make him better eventually.
2) Allow him to be lazy: Clean his room for him, wash his clothes, don’t make him do any chores. Don’t make him work for anything….EVER. When he’s 32-years old, let him live in your basement and spend the day in his drawz smoking weed and playing Xbox. He’ll get that record deal eventually.
3) Don’t ever force him to manage his money: Buy him a lot of really expensive material possessions, like $250 Air Jordans and don’t make him work for any of that money. If he wrecks the new car you bought him, just buy him another one. Don’t talk to him about saving, investing or being a good provider. If he wants that 14th tattoo on his neck, go ahead and give it to him.
Woo! Dr. Watkins offers MUCH more of this article here.