Iyanla Vanzant’s show on OWN, “Iyanla Fix My Life” has set the once popular and spiritual guide back on center stage and in the center of a new, possible, controversy.
Vanzant is now chastising black women for their nearly consensual role in their own exploitation. It’s probably a good guess that through her in-your-face counseling of the women of reality shows like Syleena Johnson and Evelyn Lozada, Iyanla and Oprah’s special on back-biting and/or gossiping women, and an episode of her show where she heals the relationship between black women that attempted to run a website together that she got fed up!
She was interviewed by Madame Noire about a former interview with Essence where she mentioned that black women were out of order. She clarified her statement saying:
“The things that really disturb me about how out of order we are, are the facts that we don’t have clear boundaries and we let anyone do anything in our life. Anyone, anybody, can do anything in our life. I’m not talking children, I’m talking the grown, big panty wearing women. Ok?! That we give men, let me just say people, who are not honorable, respectful, sensitive to who we are as people, we give them reign in our lives in ways that make us mentally, emotionally, and spiritually sick. We’re out of order, let me just go ‘head and say it, let me just ask forgiveness now, there’s no reason for us to continue to have children with men who don’t honor us and don’t take care of their children.”
Whoa! Now that’s the truth…Ruth! And to bring her point home about turning on your fellow black woman, she used her own life as an example of why she could not possibly dishonor her sisters in the struggle because they are the individuals who “sat with her” through all of it.
“It would be an affront to my spirit to dishonor another woman by betraying her confidence, sleeping with her man, not honoring my word to her, talking about her, I couldn’t do it. Because when my daughter died, it was other women who sat with me. When my husband left, it was other women who sat with me, when I turned over the keys of my house over to the bank rather than let it go in foreclosure, it was other women who rode around with me in my car to find me someplace to live.”
Her list goes on, but you get the point. It’s obvious that she has love behind her words when it comes to black women’s betrayal of one another because she also gives a brief history lesson about the disadvantage that black women come from in America’s history. Check out her interview below. Do you agree with her? If so, why? How does her words resonate with you. Are you a perpetrator of the menacing actions toward other black women or a real black woman on the side of healing?