Bizarro News: Woman Texts ‘I’m Smuggling Cocaine and Heroine in my Coochie’

Samantha Kurdilla, 22, was caught with drugs in her "coochie" coming back into the U.S. from Mexico.

There usually isn’t any laws in crime, but there are certain unsaid blasphemous commandments.  And one of them is, “Thou shalt not text the crime you’re committing.”

According to The Smoking Gun, Samantha Kurdilla, 22, was just on a leisurely walk back into the U.S. from Tijuana, Mexico, “arm-in-arm” with what we assume is her partner in crime, James Perry.  Well, once the Border dogs alerted police to a smell emanating from Kurdilla’s “groin area” Perry immediately disassociated himself from her yelling “I’m not with her!”

When asked in the “pedestrian crossing facility” if she was “bringing anything from Mexico.”  Well, maybe she forgot she had drugs in her “private area,” but it’s not likely because she texted someone:

“I’m smuggling cocaine and heroin in my coochie.”

Of course authorities checked her phone and a cavity search recovered a condom filled with several thousand dollars worth of cocaine.  Kurdilla then showed Perry the same allegiance he showed her by confessing that the drugs they found in her “vaginal area” belonged to him and that she agreed to “carry” them for him “in exchange for compensation.”

He immediately gave up the ghost and confessed that she was telling the truth. What kind of drug dealers are these two?  Isn’t there another rule that says “Thou should shut it until lawyer is present”?

Read more here on these bumbling idiots!

-J.C. Brooks

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