Everyone’s New Year’s resolution seems to be to lose weight. But, no one wants to hit the gym, drink water and get their fruits and veggies in for the rest of their life in a quest to have the ultimate body. So, the American weight loss industry has produced more diets and exercise machines than we have room to mention.
But this time, anti-fitness, anti-diet supporters have hit an all-time bizarro-level with their newest invention created to keep you eating anything you want while losing weight at the same time. That’s right, boys and girls! Prepare for the AspireAssist Aspiration Therapy System. The system essentially attaches to a faucet called a “Skin Port” valve after doctors surgically insert a tube into your stomach and thread it to the port. The port is then attached to a compact, portable machine that sucks the contents from your stomach and dumps them into the toilet, according to The Week.
Sounds disgusting, right? Sounds like you’ll be some sort of autobulimic cyborg excusing yourself from the table to dump your meal–which is required 20 minutes after you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The “dump” will empty 30 percent of the stomach’s contents. The calorie dumping machine invented by Dean Kamen and a group of bariatric physicians for Segway have a small audience that stands by the use of the machine, but there are still naysayers for obvious reasons.
The complaints have been larger foods getting stuck in the tubing and jamming up the machine. Experts say there will be a risk of losing serious nutrients, dehydration, and irritation of the stomach lining, to name a few. The machine has not been approved for the U.S., but it has been in parts of Europe since 2011.
Check out how the machine works. Warning! It might turn your stomach! Get it? Turn your stomach? Forget it…just check it out! YIKES!