Bizarro News: Woman Smacked in Face with Poop-Filled Sock on Chicago Subway!

Unidentified man slings a sock full of his poop into a woman's face on Chicago's subway and is still out there somewhere.

There can’t be a worse offense than someone spitting on you…until now!

A man walked up to a woman in a Chicago subway train and smacked her in the face with a sock filled with his poop! Can you believe that?  The woman, like anyone else, was totally disgusted and said that it was all over her:

“He had a sock full of his poop on me,” said the woman, asking to remain anonymous. “It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes.”

The man hasn’t been caught, but there are pictures of him from the Chicago Transit Authorities’ surveillance camera.  There apparently was no motive and she was caught completely off guard by the disgusting attack:

“The guy got on with me at [the] Oak Park [station],” the victim said. “I wasn’t really paying attention…next stop [at Austin], he throws something in my face.”

The woman told ABC Chicago, “she was simply texting on her phone at the time of the attack.”  Imagine if you were somewhere texting and someone walked up to you and smacked you with their doo doo!  This is one reason alone for so many people to stop distracting themselves this way.  You too could be a victim of a doo doo attacker.  No one will ever think of Oprah’s pledge to stop texting and driving anymore.  They will now think of being smacked with poop while they walk!

Read more here.

-J.C. Brooks

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