Black Women Are Too Unrealistic When it Comes to Dating

Michelle with her man in the early days.
Michelle with her man in the early days.

A writer for The Root by the name of Jeneé Desmond-Harris recently wrote an editorial entitled, “What Single Women Can Learn from Michelle”.  The title uses “what single women can learn,”  but it’s really concentrating on the dismal marriage statistics in the black community and if black women are looking to marry the man of their dreams they need to follow the example of Michelle Obama.

The thing that black women aren’t getting is that while trying to find Mr. Right, they use the “packaging” too much as a deal breaker.  He’s short, he’s tall, he’s bald, he’s too hairy, he’s dumpy, his ears stick out too much.  And what she points out here is that if Michelle would have said, “Wooooo girl, did you see those ears?” We may not know either the President or her today because a woman is detrimental to a man’s progress.  The sheer translation of it all is, “Why can’t black women drop the fairytale and look for the attributes they so desperately want, in his soul?”  

Read Mrs. Desmond-Harris’s editorial.  I guarantee you will agree with MOST of what she has to say.  If you don’t agree, maybe you agree with the fact that while the dating scene seems to be a wasteland maybe, just maybe black women need to broaden their horizons.  Chris Rock’s newest stand-up reveals the secret to why black women hate to see a black man with a white woman.  Do you wanna know the secret too?  Drum roll please….BECAUSE BLACK WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO WHITE MEN!

-J.C. Brooks

11 thoughts on “Black Women Are Too Unrealistic When it Comes to Dating”

  1. i agree with this article. some women in general complain about not finding a good man. but don’t want to deal with the ones that are single,have no job or no college degree. i think that if some women in general would relax there standards and give these men a chance. maybe they would not have unrealistic ideas about dating. some women as soo as a guy shows them interst they get intimidsted. and theyh wonder why there alone and they date white women!!!

  2. Who gives a shyt if they do date white or any other nonblack women because black men are lucking out with everybody. It ain’t the color — it’s black men period looking for someone to take care of their trifling butts and put up with crappy treatment. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

  3. Do you know why Obamas ears are like that? Ever have a strong black woman like Michelle telling you, that you can’t stop? Handles baby…..they are handles. Oh, I almost threw up in my mouth thinking about going there with her…..ewwwww

  4. Let’s be real; There are Black Women who are attracted to White Men. I am a Black man and don’t have a problem with Black Women dating White Men. Black Women need to be more open to dating outside their race. There are hurting themselves by not being open.

    I respect their reasons for not interracially dating because of Slavery and Jim Crow. Using that as an excuse will not solve the problem. I want to say to all Black Women out there to be open to dating non-black men. You may find your prince charming there and be with a man who will respect, support, and honor you. Black Men aren’t the only ones with those qualities.

  5. This article is insulting to black men, as if we have no standards. Think about it, the fact that there are so many black men dating and marrying outside of their own race should give you a clue about who’s standards are not being met. It is the black man who demands that the black woman raise HER STANDARDS. Don’t get things twisted!!! Most of the black women i’ve ever been with i’ve had to tell them point black, i don’t tolorate certain shit: POINT BLANK, END OF DISCUSSION!!!!

  6. By the way, who earns “MORE” money in a relationship, or who is “MORE” educated has absolutely “ZERO” to do with standards and vaues. Folks we need “TWO” parents raising children or black family may never get its act together.

  7. A lot of the mistakes made by most women in dating could be traced back to their upbringing. It is extremely hard to be feminine when you were raised by an “independent strong black woman” who “needs no man”.
    Unfortunately, nothing absolutely attracts a man to a woman like true femininity. Feminine women are irresistible! I wish women would one day once again recognize that their real power does not lie in trying to compete with men (through the feminist agenda), but in embracing and celebrating their absolutely beautiful, extremely powerful femininity.

  8. ‘quiet observer’ nailed it. But I am assuming this is no easy task living in such a male-dominated society. When we’re at the point where for a woman, staying home and raising chidren (i.e. taking care of the family) is looked at as “low achievement” or “not fulfilling the true capacity of a woman as opposed to having a career out in the workforce” in the eyes of women as well as men, we are succombing to the great ills and retardedness of “male influence” and not working towards a healthy, balanced, equal society.

    And that (imo) affects the dating scene for not only women in general, but especially for black women who have to not only deal with severely damaged family issues on a psychological level, but also the twisted, racist, societal perceptions that have affected us all in various negative ways for generations.

  9. I just happened across your article and started reading. You have to be dedicated to writing to be able to produce so much interesting information. I agree with a lot of this info. Thank you.

  10. I just happened upon this website yesterday. This article is very interesting. I had no idea that Chris Rock said that. And I had no idea that that was a reason why black women were against black men/white woman relationships. I’m 50-years old and this is what I know.

    Ghetto-minded females are NOT women. They’re childish, immature, and don’t qualify for a decent black man. However, they can get/have all the ni**as they want. Which is exactly what they want. Ghetto broads prove they have whor-ish standards. Little does she know, lots of guys tell each other that they laid up w/ her. That makes her a wh**e. Decent black men w/ standards don’t respect/care for wh**es. Far too many black females are just plain trifling. And that ghetto attitude of theirs makes me wanna slap the s**t outta her. I never thought I’d feel this way about another person. But it’s not all of the ghetto females fault.

    Her ghetto mammy (and/or ghetto pappy) is fully responsible for what she does and how she thinks. Growing up, I recognized that ghetto-minded females were just as trifling, nasty, and disrespectful as ni**as, if not more. They disrespect themselves more than anyone else could. And they feel as though they can say whatever they want to anybody yet nobody can say anything to them. They’re full of s**t.

    Ghetto black females are also full of self-hatred and so are/were their mammies. Now the article talks about the black women who aren’t attracted to white men. That is true about SOME black women. But real black women could care less that black men are involved w/ white women. I’m referring to the self-hating ghetto black female.

    They see the white man as their knight-in-shining-armour. Could be that they still believe in those fairytales they read years ago. But whatever the case may be, these older ghetto mammies see white men as man of her dreams. She wants her ultimate fantasy to become her man in reality.

  11. Even if white men does them wrong in some kinda way, they’ll easily forgive him and go about trying to find a new white man. Older ghetto females were taught to forgive ALL whites no matter what they did. It was the Civil Rights Movement that taught her to “turn the other cheek” and “forgive the whites who treat you bad.”

    Self-hating females are waiting for a white man to ride into the ghetto/hood on a horse, sweep them off their feet, ride into the sunset so they can live happily ever after. That’s one of the main reasons why ghetto mammies are made and angry at the world. It’s not racism nor slavery. Never was. All of ’em have been waiting for this fantasy to materialize. The more she has to wait, the angrier she becomes.
    “White is right” has been the old mammy’s motto since she was a little girl. Not only does she desire a white man, but she desires white/light-skinned children w/ good hair. Her ultimate accomplishment above everything else. Black mammies have ALWAYS treasured light/white skin over dark skin, even their own children.

    Self-hatred gives permission to hate yourself and others like you. That describes ghetto black males and females. They have sex w/ each other as if fucking is a hobby. Producing kids in every zip code and with every nigger/nigga in town. Imagine being a person full of hate fucking ppl that you hate b/c the male you really desire hasn’t swept you off your feet yet.

    Blaming racism and slavery has become 150 year old excuse blacks use to NOT fix their own self-inflicted problems.

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