EUR This N That | Urban Black News Blog

Wasssssssup? He’s back!

Remember the days of Clinton when all things were good:  gas was about a dollar, everybody had a job, your stocks were actually making money, you could trust your bank and you had a home?  Not only that, people even seemed to be a lot more friendlier back then (with reason)!  You could catch anyone, almost anytime, just calling to say, “Wasssssssup?!”  Mainly because Charles Stone III, back when you could afford a Bud, was making commercials that popularized the salutation and made it a beloved part of the English language. 

Well, it may make your day to know the boys are back and this time they are saying “Wasssssup?” for Obama!  Check it out!  But, try not to cry from the beauty of past, present and future coming together in his new message:

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Warden’s Wife Makes Break for Love

It must be embarrassing to be the assistant warden in a prison and your wife runs off with one of the inmates.  Well, she’s denying that of course, but come on now.  The lady was living in a trailer with the man and she never even sent so much as a smoke signal in 10 years?  Seems a little fishy and the judge thought so too.  But, her husband contends that she didn’t run off with the inmate.  He says she truly was a kidnap victim and they both would just like to put it behind them.  Well, the embarrassment alone should keep him fighting for her.  I mean, the woman even had children she left behind.  One of her children was seven and the other 10 at the time. 

What really seals the deal is that the guy has died now.  Once he died, she could say whatever she wanted and not hurt his feelings.  But, how does everyone know where you are for all these years and not try to help?  An author wrote a book about the alleged kidnapping and he called her while she was living with the man and said, “Hey, you think you might wanna call your kids?”  (loosely translated)  Now if he knew where she was, how come her husband didn’t go get her?  Everything about this case sounds strange.  See how strange here.

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A Noose Of A Different Color

If you haven’t seen it by now, Sarah Palin is wearing something that really isn’t her choice or fault.  We may be competitive and see Obama as the better candidate, but we never thought about putting a noose on Palin’s neck.  A man in California thought it would be a good idea to, literally, hang her over his doorstep for Halloween.  Everyone from everywhere have been outraged.  Democrats and Republicans alike find it disturbing and distasteful to say the least.  But, it seems that the man didn’t view it as any of these things until SWAT, NATO peacekeepers, ATF, the Mayor, Secret Service, Bush, the Easter Bunny and some protesters with a likeness of him in a noose descended on his home.  This thing has taken all the fun out of Halloween for that community.  Read here to see why he had a change of heart.

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Hypertension Research Runs Amuk

 Recently a study was released where some fancy named scientists have taken the credit for the discovery of lowering hypertension with a simple …um…fart.  Sounds gross?  Yes it is.  But I must stand up for the little people who really made this happen for these scientists.  I believe the scenario happened like this:

Picture it…a laboratory, two geeks and some mice.  One of the lab techs runs out to Taco Bell to get their food for the nightshift.  Now these guys aren’t any kind of scientist or anything, they’re just there to log the mice’s reaction to concocted injections or run some basic tests; like have them run on a wheel or something.  Well, once they finish their dinner things in the lab get interesting.  No one eats that stuff without having to “let one off”  and it just so happens that one of these geeks let one “rip”.  While he’s trying to look innocent as possible writing on one of the mice’s log sheets, his colleague notices an odor usually associated with Taco Bell and popularly referred to as “silent but deadly.”   This grade of fart is known to leave most rooms empty.  Those unable to escape normally get nauseous or experience extreme irritation.  But not the mice, they have a reaction of decreased blood pressure, which in layman’s terms means they were knocked out and hanging on for dear life in their cages when the scientists showed up the next morning.  The scientists then grilled the lab assistants.  The rest…history.

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Obama and McCain Finally Battle

We’ve directed you to the Rocky vs. Mr. T version of Obama and McCain’s campaign, but now let us bring you to their final face off.  The candidates have called a “battle” as their last hurdle to jump to show the American voters who really is ready to rule in the White House.  Also, don’t be surprised if McCain brings in a “ringer” to help him out.  Now we must warn you that what you are about to see may cause some form of incontinence.  If you must, run to the bathroom before you see the candidates get it on.  Proceed with caution:

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Obama’s Tenacity Times 9,000

 Obama is doing his best to drive this thing home.  He has been spry and fresh at every occasion.  Today, we saw him speaking in Pennsylvania, appearing to give a battle cry reminiscent of Braveheart.  Even the World Series was put on hold for the weather.  But not Obama, he stood strong and fiery in icy conditions.  Cold rains were pelting him and his supporters.  It says a lot about the people who are looking for sincere change in this country when they, 9,000 strong, hang in there just to hear him speak.  That must be empowering and motivating for anyone.  Read here to see the passion of the Presidential candidate.

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